Remembering August Episode 58

Is it the end of summer already? Lisa and Tina reflect.

Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

Hi, Tina. Hi, Lisa. Lisa. The summer is almost over. We're like days away from Labor Day really.

Speaker 2: 0:12

That is so sad. I don't know why. It's sad for me. I don't, I don't like to see back to school stuff. Mm-hmm. Even though I haven't been in school for many, many years, and neither is my daughter, but when I see those backpacks and notebooks, I'm like, oh man,

Speaker: 0:27

oh, those commercials that, that advertise the school supplies like it's Christmas time and the, I actually get a kick out of those. Where they're showing the kids and the parents are all excited. Yeah. And the kids are all sad. They have to go back to school and the parents are like, jumping for joy. That was that. I'm laughing now, but I, that wasn't funny when I was younger. No. And when? That was not funny. Not at all. Going back to school was a sad moment. You know, labor Day would come and I would be like, oh my God, it's Labor Day. But you know what? Kids go back to school before Labor Day. Now I don't. I just can't

Speaker 2: 1:09

even imagine. Yeah, it's still hot. You still just wanna wear, I remember one year we went on vacation. We didn't, young parents didn't pay attention. Yes. Me was missing school.'cause we didn't know what school started

Speaker: 1:24

you. You irresponsible, irresponsible parents. You

Speaker 2: 1:29

like, oh shoot, we in the outer banks thinking we are good.'cause it's, it's August,

Speaker: 1:35

you know, it's I thought I was thinking about when I was younger. Just now that you say that or reference being younger. You know, we always used, when I was younger, we used to go to Martha's Vineyard in August and so many black families would be there in August. And now I look at what's going on in Martha's Vineyard and I'm like, it's just too crowded. I need to go another time of the year because it is like so crowded in August that I'm like, how do you even. Get on the beach. Wow. I've never been so, I don't even know. Oh girl. You have to look at what goes on in the vineyard now. I mean, it's the fraternities, the sororities, the celebrities, the politicians. It's these big groups and it's, it's a lot of people go, and I had to think about how beautiful it was when I was younger. Going up there and spending time in the vineyard when it was not as crowded. And now I'm thinking as a, as a, you know, now that many years have gone by, I do wanna go back up there because when I was younger and even when I was. I won't say older, but after I got adolescence and I went when I was older, meaning, you know, I was driving and didn't have to be there with my parents.

Speaker 3: 2:53

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 2:54

I didn't explore the island in the way that I would explore it now, like by curiosity about. Places and little tucked away spots. Especially because I would be with my camera. Mm-hmm. And I wasn't, you know, when I was going back then, when I was a kid, I mean, I had a camera. I took a lot of pic. Well, I did take a lot of pictures now that I think about it. About with my friends, but I would be looking from a different lens at this point. You know, my perspective mm-hmm. Would be different. It would be so focused on the beauty of the island. Mm-hmm. So I would really like to go back and I, I thought about that. You know, when I think about that, when August rolls around. What was I doing years ago that I would really like to do again and going to the vineyards one, but it would not be in August. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Would not be in August. It would be in April. Because April to me, I use, anytime I do beach, I like to be at a beach when it's quiet. Mm-hmm. Or beach areas when it's quiet and not a lot of people, it got to the be to the beach a little bit this year when I was down at Virginia Beach, but it, I didn't spend a lot of time on the beach, but it was nice to put my feet in the water and feel the water on my feet and hear the ocean roar and all of that. It was great. Mm-hmm. It's great.

Speaker 2: 4:07

Yeah. I have nostalgia about August, but this year was the first year that it really wasn't so. Bittersweet. So we used to go to the outer banks every summer in August, and we take, you know, my daughter and usually some of her friends. And some of our friends. It was just a, you know, a gathering of people and we'd stay there for the whole week. And we had certain traditions that we would do, like you know, whole getting ready to go down. There was just a. It, it, we just made a big deal out of it because it was fun to do that. Not because it had to be like, oh, we gotta take these spices, we gotta make sure we have this food and this and that. And then there's a farmer's market on the way, a huge place that you stop at and you get, get all your farmer's market stuff, and then it then you proceed on into the. Whatever beach house you rented and just, it was just a whole lot of fun and for the most part, for the several years after we stopped doing that. And we stopped it because, well, the kids grew up and so they, they're not there anymore. And also because it just became too expensive, it was ridiculous. It's like, how much am I spending on this? I could get on a plane and fly to a whole nother country and stay there for a month for what I'm paying for a week in the outer bank. So so we stopped it and for the, for several years I was just like, oh, you know, I don't like it. You know, I'm thinking about it in August and wishing I was there and the things that we used to do. But this year I feel like it's a different. I'm in a different phase.

Speaker 3: 5:34

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: 5:34

And I don't feel sad about the August being like that anymore because I'm in a whole different frame of thinking and I want a whole different kind of fun, and I don't miss it. I'm happy that I had those experiences and I like to think about them, but I don't feel sad about it anymore. I'm like onto the next adventures.

Speaker: 5:53

Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, we're kind of saying the same thing. I don't feel sad about not. I don't feel that moment of, oh my God, I wish I was there. Mm-hmm. Kind of thing.'cause I don't feel that, I just feel like I'd like to be there another at another time.

Speaker 3: 6:08

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 6:08

I think I also think about August as we were just referring to before, talking about traveling, about the, going back to school. It used to be such a ritual to go school shopping for clothing.

Speaker 3: 6:22

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 6:23

You know, our parents, well, my grandparents would usually be around in August when we were younger, we would go to this place called Best, BEST and company. My grandmother loved that store. Mm-hmm. You know, we would get. Stuff at best in company, but I used to love the whole thing about getting dressed up to go. Back to school. Did you Oh yeah.

Speaker 2: 6:46

Do that. Oh yeah. You had to have a new outfit, outfit, outfit, a new book bag, new lunchbox and all this, it, it feels so good to have all new stuff. Mm-hmm. It was, you know, all the, you just, good is new going out here. And but the thing that's strange about it, we, I lived further north, so it was, at least back in those days, it seemed like it was getting cooler. I guess at least kind of how it is today. Right? But generally now at this time well first of all, they moved it back so far that it is still hot, blazing hot, but you know, you couldn't even wear them clothes yet'cause you still need shorts and a tank top.

Speaker: 7:25

You were in Pennsylvania right?

Speaker 2: 7:26

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: 7:27

Well see, I was in Jersey, so we're clo we're close, you know? Mm-hmm. In area and, and temperature wise, and you're right. You know, you got cute stuff. Well, we used to get a, a, a little cute something that was for the fall, and then we would get mm-hmm. Winter stuff, but we definitely had an outfit, a couple outfits to go back to school. In September, you know, and back then the song was See You in September. Mm-hmm. Which was a song that some group put out, but everybody used to say that and now they nobody time. I see you in September.'cause kids go back in August before Labor Day. Yeah. I'm still trying to get over that. You know? Yeah. Kids go back to school before Labor Day. It's like.

Speaker 2: 8:05

Like you are ruining everything. You are ruining all the fun and Right. And you know, the, the swimming pool and you know, all the things that you, you know,

Speaker: 8:12

the last minute things you did at before labor, there was always some something. Mm-hmm. I mean, all through childhood, even when I got older, there was always some something happening. Some backyard barbecue or somebody was doing something before Labor Day to sort of signal that the summer was closing and that we were going into the, well, the fall. And you know, again, fall and August we thought the weather was changing, but now summer just stays right on up until October. Mm-hmm. Sometimes it's so different now. So

Speaker 2: 8:43

different. It is, it is. I don't understand how people can deny it, but in a way I kind of like how it extends like, I like to go to these dance places. Okay. So I love house music and I like Soca. Mm-hmm. And so there's these events that out. I like outdoor things. So outdoor events. And there's a house music event that happens on Labor Day weekend and they always say to close out the summer and there's a, there was, last year there was some Soca parties too. And then they say to close out the summer, but you know what, we had some more. We had some in September. We had some in October, and I was like, this is great because it's not, it's not cold or anything, so you may as well just keep on having fun.

Speaker: 9:21

You know? I think somehow as old as I am, I always know when it's June and summer's supposed to be starting and I always know when it's August. School's supposed to be starting. It's like, yes. I don't know why I have never been able to get rid of that feeling that I know, oh my God, school's gonna be out. It's summertime. And then it's like, oh, you know what? It's Labor Day coming. Hmm. It's time to go back to school. And I'm like, girlfriend, you ain't going back to not school. Exactly. You, you have been going back to school and who knows how long or for that matter, going into the summer. I mean, I will say. During a lot of my jobs, I would take off some vacation time somewhere in June. Mm-hmm. My body felt like it was time to do that.

Speaker 2: 10:07

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: 10:08

So I can't say that I didn't have a little bit of something that I did before, but it didn't, the Labor Day thing. Hmm. I, I don't know. It's I don't have any major activities that I'm going to do going into Labor Day, but usually I will say Labor Day now for me. It is almost like I'm, I'm ready to do some house cleaning, a little bit of, you know, getting stuff together, getting ready for the fall and winter. Mm-hmm. So if I can get certain things washed and clean or make sure the blankets for the winter, or washed and clean or pulled out of the closet and, you know, sort of fluffed up and stuff. There is something that happens around this time of the year for me, and I used to check into one of my favorite hotels where I could soak in or I could soak in'cause it was cheap. It. During the, interestingly enough, labor Day weekend was the cheapest weekend to go of the year. And I guess'cause people were going back to wherever they were going to.

Speaker 3: 11:10

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 11:10

So the hotels were not as full. Now I haven't really checked this year because I'm, I am. Actually do have some things I have to do this year, so I'm not gonna be going away or doing anything vacationy for Labor Day. But that used to be something that I, I would do is check into the hotel with the soaking tub because the price was down. Mm-hmm. Again, cheapest for, cheapest for the year.'cause I would check it out and take a look and see what was going on. I don't know, I don't, I don't think I need a ritual for the end of the summer, but it would be nice. I, I, you know, I like old. Movies. Mm-hmm. And at least two of them. One of them is called Picnic, which is an old movie. It's not black and white, but it's in color, but it's an older movie. Mm-hmm. And what's the other one? I can't think of the, oh, Peyton Place where they're made about the same time around like six the sixties or late fifties, early sixties. And there are these scenes. Well, picnic is specifically about Labor Day and that people didn't work on Labor Day, that it was a time for relaxation, a time to refresh, a time to, you know, just get ready to go back to school. And they would have these town, the entire town would have a picnic. Mm-hmm. And every time I see these two movies, Peyton Place is a little different. It's the same, same premise that around Labor Day, everybody's sort of doing their own thing, getting ready to go back to school. There's the, the entire town comes together to close out the summer. Really? Mm-hmm. And, and look for the fall. And I don't know any towns in, in my lifetime or anything that anybody did like that. So I'm like. I, I'm su sure that it happened because I'm not sure how you make a movie. Well, you can make movies about things that are not real. But there was two different movies that had the same scenario. One was centered around specifically that. Mm-hmm. The other one was just, part of it was just a scene in the movie that forwarded the story in different ways. But I sort of, every time I see those two movies, I think about, you know, it would be nice to. Rituals. You know, we talked about rituals way back in another, another time on, on the podcast, but these, as I'm getting older, I, I'm looking, I think for rituals, some things that are tried and true that I look forward to that bring me around people. To do something wonderful or not to just do something, you know, maybe you just get in your duds and you know, drink lemonade or something. I don't know. Just something. Mm-hmm. It could be simple. It doesn't have to be elaborate, but I'm feeling the desire to have rituals or things that I can look forward to. Yeah. That produce memories.

Speaker 2: 14:09

Yeah, I think that's important at this time in, in our history where we're sort of precarious is, is what I'm thinking. Mm-hmm. Just to bring some fun and normalcy. Back and spend time with people and nurture re relationships because relationships are, are often what get you through these things. And so just being around other people, whether it's family or my closest friends we used to have some rituals that have since gone because of different schedules and people spread out, but Right. It is a good time to do that and get together and it's, it's so nice that, you know, we could just, you could just plan it out. You could just say, okay, well we're doing this and Right. And do it

Speaker: 14:54

well. I think the key word that you said about normalcy, I think maybe that's part of what I'm getting at now, is having some sort of normalcy and think, and those are things that you can look forward to so that it sort of anchors you. Mm-hmm. You know, it sort of anchors you when. Anything that could be disconcerting is happening. You have this anchor of knowing, okay, on this date or this time I'm doing this because this is something we do annually. Mm-hmm. Going to the vineyard was a major, major thing because we did it annually. Mm-hmm. It was fun. We, we would see kids that we didn't see all year because there was no phone. You weren't calling anybody. There was no, you know, Facebook, none of that. You had to wait to see people an an entire year to see them if you didn't live near them.

Speaker 3: 15:50

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 15:51

And there was something about that that was just, I don't even know the word of it. There's something about that when I think of it, it was so. Wonderful. And that's really kind of just broad stroking it. Mm-hmm. But there was something about getting back together with people that you hadn't seen, and maybe it was catching up and the growth and what are you doing and where you live because we, again, we didn't all live in the same place, so then

Speaker 3: 16:20

mm-hmm.

Speaker: 16:20

It was different.

Speaker 3: 16:22

Yeah. And

Speaker: 16:22

then we all looked different and what were we wearing then? And the fun of all of that, you know, we get older and it's sort of. It, it changes in how we do it because when I was younger, nobody was worried about trying to out style somebody. It, I mean, really when I think about being a teenager, when I was going to the van, it wasn't even about that. Oh, it wasn't about that at all. It was about getting together. You know? Yeah. When you went to the party at night, yeah. You wanted to look good, but it wasn't your, your catalyst, you know, reason or re dera. The reason for being was not to see who you could out style. It was just like, I wanna be around these people and Oh yeah, I love your jeans or something. You know? It wasn't anything. It just wasn't like that. At least that's not how I remember it. So,

Speaker 2: 17:11

yeah. Yeah, it's a different feeling when you just want to look your best as opposed to trying to have a competition.

Speaker: 17:19

Well, when you wanna look your best, because you wanna be feeling great around people you enjoy. And that carried over for me when I got older. Yes, I was a style maven. I did like to look good. I wanted to look good, but I've always said, and will stay to this day. When I got dressed and would get dressed, I always was dressing for my female friends. I was really, I was not trying to impress any guy'cause they didn't know what the hell you were wearing anyway. So you could, you know, come out with all kinds of stuff. They had no clue. But your girlfriends knew? Yes. If you had some new, you know, we, we had these shoes when I was young. Fred Braun shoes and Huck Aoo shirts. They knew. If you had a new Huck Aoo shirt.

Speaker 2: 18:02

Yeah. And nowadays the, the, the equivalent is like you're walking down the street and somebody hollering, Hey, yellow dress, I see you.

Speaker: 18:13

And it doesn't have to have a label to it, it's just a yellow dress. Uhhuh, I see you. I tell you it is time times have changed, but so, you know, how was, how was your summer? Great. My summer. You know, it, it went by very quickly. I'll say that.

Speaker 2: 18:27

Yeah. I think it did go by quickly. It wasn't it was different than usual. It's just I did other things. I went to. Trinidad in June, which is not a time that I would normally be traveling to some place like that. But you know, that's where I went. And then when I came home, normally I would try, I'd be doing everything, scheming up every way that I could go to some beach.

Speaker 3: 18:49

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: 18:49

And this year I'm not really that pressed because I just came from the beach. I'm about to go back. Yeah. So I'm okay with it. And as much as I love the beach, I just haven't been so pressed. So I've kind of been around the house and also saving money.

Speaker: 19:01

Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:02

So not spending too much like you know, I like to sit on somebody patio sipping drinks.

Speaker: 19:07

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:08

And and unfortunately one of my favorite places to be sitting out drinking some drinks has closed.

Speaker 3: 19:14

Mm.

Speaker 2: 19:14

And so I'm like, well, now what?

Speaker: 19:17

Well, you have your cute little patio that you built so that Yeah. That, that you have, that, you know, I don't know. I as I think about, you know, coming out again thinking about, this is the quote unquote close of summer. Clothes, C-L-O-S-E, not clothing. Mm-hmm. Of summer, you know, it's, it or clothes too, maybe. You know, it's just thinking about those things that, like sitting on the porch, like, like slowing down. Like, like what is it that I, I wanna do and getting to the beach. I, I would love to go back to the beach, but that's probably not gonna occur before or anytime. Certainly before Labor Day. Or even shortly thereafter of Labor Day.

Speaker 2: 19:57

Yeah. You would've had to already book it.

Speaker: 19:59

Yeah. I already have to, well, you know, I have family in Virginia Beach. I can go back to Virginia Beach. I don't have to Oh, I don't have to have a, a reservation anywhere unless I don't want to hang out with them and want to be on the beach without them. And then I need a hotel room, but I don't do that in, in Virginia. When I do that, it's usually, you know, Rohoboth or over to Cape May. Mm-hmm. If I'm going to beach it without. Family or friends, or those are my solo, sometimes my solo places to get away to. Mm-hmm. But yeah, you have, you definitely have to book that in advance. But I I don't know, this past summer, I think the thing that I have done differently than I have done in any other summer before is I have been to the farmer's market every week. Oh. Every week. And that's nice. So enjoyed roaming amongst all this produce and, you know, I take pictures so, you know, can, how can I get a, a good shot of, you know, all these vegetables and those sort of things, and mingling with people I do not know. Mm-hmm. Not being obligated to have a conversation unless it comes up or I want to, you know? Mm-hmm. Talking to the vendors, just spending time. Soda is the anonymity. I think that's the word I want. I don't have to be anything to anybody, to nothing. It's just sort of existing in the city, not being, I'm alone, but not lonely. Mm-hmm. And just really enjoying something. And then, you know, getting on my person, coming home and being, cooking these roast, we talked about this for the roasted vegetables. I think my summer has been so much. Because I've been training for a program and I, we won't get into that today, but I've been training to, to do some volunteer work. Mm-hmm. And that started in the summer and, you know, trying to stay focused on that because it is a serious program that eventually I have to get certified to actually be in it. Mm-hmm. And I've taken that very seriously. So I think I've spent the summer indulging and I'll say indulging in. What's what's available, the museums, the farmer's market, and, and indulging in something that I think is gonna fulfill my soul, which is this volunteer work. Right? So it's been a little bit different, I think, this year because, because of those things, and I've enjoyed it. I haven't missed anything. Haven't missed anything.

Speaker 2: 22:17

I still did some gardening. Gardening this year. It looks crazy because we, we built a deck and now we are onto the patio, but I don't know where the contractors are. They kind of like fit us in where they can. So it's a mess. But I have, my garden is in big bags. Those cloth bags. Mm-hmm. So they can be moved around. Mm-hmm. And I came home one day and they were all shoved up against the fence and the, and there's not as much sun there, and everything that we had was out in the yard. So it took, it was very treacherous. I had to climb over stuff and do all kinds of acrobatic moves to get to my garden. Take care of it. But we removed some of the stuff, so now it's, it's accessible. Things are, Outta place, but but they're okay.

Speaker 3: 23:01

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2: 23:01

But I've just been experiencing the joys of gardening. And one of the things that I'm really thinking about this year is that my fig tree, I have a big fig tree in the front. And the harvest has been phenomenal. Okay. I saw those

Speaker: 23:15

pictures. I'm like, oh my God. Oh, I've never, what heaven's saying is going on at Lisa's

Speaker 2: 23:21

house. I don't know what, I have never had so many figs in the whole history of these fig trees. And one of the things I did notice, though. Is that we don't have that many birds and squirrels coming to eat them. So I'm like, I'm curious, like what happened? Because usually what happens is the birds will come and they're noisy. They get the, when they're coming around and eating and making everything moving, just being loud and crazy. But this year it didn't really happen. So I'm kind of wondering like what's going on with the environment? Yeah. That they're not here. And then my my neighbors. Tree, she planted one in the back, close to the fence. Mm-hmm. And this year it's coming over the fence. Mm-hmm. And of course my husband be complaining about that, but I just go, look, she got the biggest juiciest, most fabulous figs ever. Okay. I'm so happy about that. Every day I come out there and get some figs off her tree. And that's, that's why I also have too many figs. I couldn't. I can't not pick the figs.

Speaker 3: 24:18

Right.

Speaker 2: 24:18

Because otherwise they're just gonna go rotten.'cause I went outside the, this week and I don't usually use the front door, I usually use the back. Mm-hmm. But when I went out in the front, I, it smelled of rotten fruit. Oh. And it was because a lot of them figs just fell off the tree. Right. And were on the ground. And that usually does not happen either. I pick'em. Or the birds and squirrels get'em. Hmm. But there's not a whole lot. There's hardly ever figs on the ground, but this year's a whole bunch of them. So I'm wondering really what is going on here and if it's something we need to be concerned about. I don't even know who to tell.

Speaker: 24:51

They've changed their dietary requirements. They're out

Speaker 2: 24:55

here eating chicken wings

Speaker: 24:59

with, with mambo sauce. Like we don't need that kind of, we don't need fruits in, we just need something. A little boy says. Stand. Yeah. What is that song by Billie Holiday? Gimme a pig foot and a bottle of beer. Forget about that fig. Gimme a chicken wing and a little bit of something to swig on the side.

Speaker 2: 25:24

That's what they doing. So I had to make some preserves because what would I do with all them? Yeah. I made the preserves and then I, I got creative. I also have some peppers that I never had before. Uhhuh called Ahi Mango. Oh, I love them. Okay. I love them so much. You'll not find them in a store. Not in this area anyway, but these, these peppers are orange and they're about only about two, three inches long. Mm-hmm. And they are hot, but they're like an ambient hot. They're not like a a a I'm gonna burn right there. Hot. It's, it's like spreads over your mouth and it's a, a lingering heat. Okay. So I cut up some and put it in the fig preserves.

Speaker: 26:04

I saw that online. I knew you were miss. Creative. Creative in the kitchen. Creative

Speaker 2: 26:09

in the kitchen. Oh gosh. It turned out really nice. I'm happy about that. So

Speaker: 26:13

Uhhuh good. Well that's good. I guess, who knows what everybody else is gonna be doing for this? I don't even know. Do we call this a holiday? I don't even know what we call these things anymore. People, you know, I don't know. We sometimes, I guess we observe some of the holidays or losing the observance or wanting to observe holidays. Yeah, I guess Labor Day is one we won't get rid of. No, no. That needs to stay. That's where everyone, hopefully.

Speaker 3: 26:37

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 26:38

Well, whatever you do, enjoy. Your time. Basically go into Labor Day and we'll figure out, talk about what we decided to do. Yeah. On the, on the flip side. Yes. And just remember, you know, when we talking about things like this, you know, I, I think it brings up our emotional, mental status and, and things and social status social beings that we are, and thinking about the memories that we've had. So it ties into our, our, line about generational body love, because we remember, we talk about gen body love is not just physical, it's mental, spiritual, emotional, and social. And so it ties in. So generational body love is like generational wealth.

Speaker 2: 27:25

You must pass

Speaker: 27:26

it on. All right. Have a happy Labor day.

Speaker 2: 27:28

All right, bye bye.

Speaker 4: 27:30

Thank you for listening to another episode of the Body Love Construct, where we have intelligent opinion-based conversations around reconstructing the generational conditioning that has influenced black women's narratives about themselves. Our main purpose with the body love construct and this podcast is to engage our audience by having more non-traditional conversations. Present day and historical issues, situations, behaviors, events and beliefs that affect how we see ourselves and how others perceive, make assumptions about copy, treat, see or unsee us as black women. Through our discussions, we hope you will find something that gets you to thinking about the stories you formed about yourself. Self and determine if perhaps it's time to rethink a few things. We invite you to stop by our website, the body love construct.com, and sign up to receive limited mailings that update you on the things we wanna share. You can also follow us on Instagram at the Body Love Construct for the current episode offerings, and tips for being more connected to and appreciative of your total body, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social.